Living with anxiety is just that: life with anxiety in it. It becomes a part of you and sometimes we forget about the other parts of life that is not anxiety. I'm probably not making sense to most who read this but anyway, the point I'm trying to make is anxiety can consume you sometimes and other times you can have the chance to observe other things like... happiness.
Here are my observations of happiness:
The sun - it is lovely to see you again :)
The sky- day and night you are beautiful
Beautiful green nature
Family
Spontaneous trips with family
Feeling comfortable with others
Yummy dessert and drinks
Appreciating art, architecture, history and culture
Celebrating
New music
Old music
Europe and the Eurovision (Yes, I am a fan)
Reading and learning and being inspired
Sleep
Not thinking ahead so much but living in the moment
Some people see Summer as a chance to get away; to jet off to some lovely unjourneyed location to have a little taste of bliss for a week or more. I'm not going to lie the idea of escaping to holiday in France or Italy does sound lovely to me but I can't let it ruin my summer of being home. Yesterday I sat in the garden gazing at the clouds floating amongst the sea of perfect blue. It was a perfect day to get snapping and take pretty pictures.
Here are those pictures (edited to look even more picturesque) along with one of my favourite quotes:
I've had two weeks off work, I know lucky right? but I still find it hard to be happy because I spend most of my time worrying and being anxious about going back to work. Silly? Maybe? but telling myself that doesn't make it any easier.
Why do we always feel we need to BE HAPPY? Instead why don't we acknowledge those happy moments as what they are- moments. I know I will never be happy for a long amount of time and I don't mean that negatively :) Happiness is an emotion, just like sadness, and both can be as fleeting as each other. Anyway, I'm babbling and not explaining my thoughts properly haha!
Instead of babbling, here is a list of things that have made me happy this fortnight:
1. Spending time with my family
2. Sunshine
3. Eating out
4. The sea
5. Desserts
6. Quizzes and wine
7. Watching films (Blended and Katy Perry: Part of Me)
8. Easter dinner and Easter eggs
9. Music on a train journey home
10. Window views
11. Meeting friends for a good chat
12. Reading blogs on my new laptop
13. Early nights cwtched up in bed
14. Buying a new top
15. Things turning out better than I thought
I'm sure there are lots more! I hope to be more positive next week but maybe my anxiety will have other ideas. What makes you happy? Care to share?
Sunflowers are beautiful, beaming flowers that just make you smile once seeing them...right?
Here are some lovely things you may like to know, or may know already, about sunflowers
1)Sunflowers are a combination of individual flowers joined together
"Sunflower heads consist of 1,000 to 2,000 individual flowers joined
together by a receptacle base. The large petals around the edge of a
sunflower head are individual ray flowers which do not develop into
seed"*
2) Sunflowers track the sun's movement
"A well-known sunflower characteristic is that the flowering heads track the sun’s movement, a phenomenon known as heliotropism" *
3) Sunflowers attract birds
If you have sunflowers in your garden the birds will be attracted to them as they love sunflower seeds* 4) Sunflowers inspired one of Van Gogh's most famous paintings
Van Gogh made seven different versions of sunflower paintings. He felt yellow was an emblem of happiness and in dutch literature, the sunflower was a symbol of devotion and loyalty.
Read more about this here
5) Sunflowers are a symbol of peace
Sunflowers are used in a campaign for a world free of nuclear weapons and nuclear power.
When Ukraine became a nuclear-weapon-free nation in 1996, US Defense
Secretary William Perry declared that “sunflowers instead of missiles in
the soil would ensure peace for future generations” (Source: ICAN)
*Facts found here:amazingandweird.com
This week hasn't been the easiest. With more responsibility at work it has unnerved me and made the jittery and anxious me become very scared, low and panicky. So why 5 Happy Things ? Well, simply because that's when we need to pick out the positives and remind ourselves it's not all bad. So here goes...
1. Meeting up with friends
Although, I really didn't feel like going out it was lovely to meet up with friends for some food and a chat. One of my friends and I hadn't seen each other in such a long time that we both had birthday presents to exchange to each other (they should have been given in July). It's nice knowing that someone cares about you and wants to get you something nice to show it. Thank you friends!
2. A little walk looking for the moon I LOVE the moon! The moon makes me feel calm and it makes me feel that we are all special. We are special because we get to see the moon shining at us and lighting up our dark nights. I have many moon quotes and pictures I could share but I'll save them for another time.
3. Early morning coffee
It's not always nice to wake up early in the morning, especially when you're afraid of what the day has in store for you, but once you're up and you're organised it's nice to sit down, empty your thoughts (or try veryhard to) and enjoy some early morning coffee.
4. Trying new things
In this case, it was cheese!! This week, my local town had its annual fair where stalls come from all over the place selling food, clothes, toys, sweets, jewellery and all sorts! One particular stall had some unusual cheeses and the lady invited me over to try them. There was blueberry cheese, madras cheese, caramel cheese, smoked paprika cheese, chive and onion cheese, red port wine cheese and others like red leicester and cheddar. I tried almost all of them and purchased the caramel and smoked paprika ones. Very tasty!
5.Making pizzas
Okay, so I bought the bases ready made but still I didn't buy a pizza. I had fun choosing toppings and sprinkling them on top and the end product was delicious :) I made cheese, tomato and pepperoni pizza and a barbecue, cheese and chicken pizza.
Looking at my 5 happy things it's hard to tell that I had a bad week and most people would consider this a good week but it's my head, my anxiety and my negative thoughts that turn the good into bad. I must try harder to be positive and to change these thoughts for the sake of my mental health!
How has your week been? What are your 5 happy things?
A year ago, I was in a shop when this book/album appeared to me. It wasn't the quote "People change, memories don't" that compelled me to buy it but the beautiful illustration of the camera.
At the time I wasn't in the best spirits and I thought one day this could cheer me up and I could use it to store happy memories that I've spent with people I love.
Yesterday I started doing just that. I filled a page with pictures and started sorting through my pics to see what else I would like to include in this book.
Anxiety is hard and draining and it takes all of your brain and focuses it on negativity and worry but forcing your brain to remember happy memories you have had can have such a positive effect on you. Sometimes it's hard to think of happy days but try to remember those happier times and believe that there are many more happy memories waiting for you to make.
Hi- it's summer! I have a lot of time off before I go back to work and instead of finding something 'worthwhile' to do, i.e. getting a summer job, volunteering etc., I am going to truly do something worthwhile.
I am going to look after me.
I normally worry all over summer. I worry that I am wasting time; that I should be doing something to help my career or I worry that I will have no career and that I am doing nothing to help myself. Well, this summer, I vow to do neither. I am going to try not to worry about me, my career and my life and whether I will be okay or not, and I am going to try to be positive and happy.
I am going to try to fight this depression that I sometimes find myself immersing in and I am going to do things that make me happy. I hope to drink more water, go for more walks, eat healthier and to enjoy the simple things.
So, here is my quote of the week which serves as a reminder of what I shall try to do each day:
Also, as I was looking for a quote this week, I came across this work of art on Pinterest (don't you just love that site?) and I thought it was a lovely, uplifting piece that I had to share on my blog. The creator Lori Portka has a page on etsy with lots more lovely pieces -Take a look!
Hope you are all having a lovely day, American or not!
I thought this song was pretty fitting for today but it is also a song full of hope; recognising those with low self-esteem and those feeling down and saying: you're a firework!!
Sometimes we all feel paper thin but this song lets us know we are all special :)
Often, with people experiencing anxiety, it is hard to have GOOD Days. Your head can be so full of anxious thoughts and your belly may be so full of knots that the day is just full of worry. You want to be happy, you want to switch off, you want to stop feeling this way- of course you do! but sometimes you just can't.
I want to encourage you, amongst any anxiety you may be feeling, to write down (maybe in my comments) 5 happy things! This could be: things you've done this week; things you like; your favourite band; your favourite book; your favourite food; anything that makes you happy! If you're struggling to think of anything then perhaps you need to make a list of 5 happy things to do.
Here are my 5 happy things:
1) Sunshine
Last weekend the sun made an appearance and it made me want to stay outside all day. I eat outside, I did yoga outside and I even did some written work outside.
2) Yoga and ice cream
I am not a very...hmm what shall I say?...active person. I love walking but other exercise does not appeal to me. However, after reading a lot about yoga recently, I wanted to try it and I thought it was perfect weather to do it outside. So I downloaded an app called Simply Yoga and I was about 5 minutes in when I heard the music of an ice cream van. What did I do? I paused my yoga and ran to get some ice cream hahaha! (I did go back to the yoga later...I promise)
3)Chinese and Nashville
Saturday night was made for takeaways and TV, right? Chinese mmmmm. Nashville=LOVE!
I am a big One Tree Hill fan and although I am happy to watch episodes of them over and over again it's nice to have a new series that I feel just as excited about. Nashville is so me; music and meaning! Here is one of my favourite performances so far:
Lennon and Maisy Stella are wonderful.
4) My Beatles Day Out
I love The Beatles (You may notice the music theme- I love music)and so when I heard that The Beatles musical Let it Be was going on tour I asked my parents if we could all go. Christmas day I was really pleased to open an envelope with tickets for just that. This week the day finally came. I had a lovely day with my parents; lunch out, a spot of shopping, a fab musical full of brilliant songs and performers and some wine and dessert in a pub after. Such a good day!
5)Making my own pasta sauce instead of using a jar
Last night, I fancied making some pasta for dinner but instead of just using a ready made sauce I got a pan fried some onions, added tomatoes, balsamic vinegar and seasoned with pepper. This may not seem like a big deal but I sat down with my pasta, poured a glass of wine, lit a candle and I was happy eating it.
