A Quick Hello!

April...4 months into the year, already?

This year...I haven't decided what it is yet. Good? Bad? Is it really fair to put a huge label on a time of flowing emotions?

I have spent a large amount of time being anxious of future happenings and have reflected on most of my time as being unpleasant. Is it my job's fault? Am I not where I'm supposed to be? Or is it, simply but sadly, me? Am I incapable of being positive about my life?


I'm not going to dwell on these thoughts for this post. I just want to say that these thoughts are constantly a part of me. They are why I do not write blog posts. They are why I do not spend time doing things. Happy things. Simple things.

Hopefully it won't be so long until next time!

2016

I am not going to use this post to write about all the horrible things that have happened this year. Instead I shall keep it short and sweet and just sum up some lovely things that have happened this year.

• Signing up to Netflix has actually been a highlight of 2016. I have been able to feel cosy and safe tucked up in bed and forget about all the sadness. I've managed to catch up completely with Pretty Little Liars which I've loved!! 
• I remember having a lovely meal with prosecco in Prezzo with two of my closest friends just randomly one day in April. We discovered the snapchat filters and laughed and laughed.
• A windy beach walk with my family 
• Having a night out on a bank holiday Sunday - a nice break amongst a school term. 
• Having drinks to celebrate my Dad achieving something he should be very proud of 
• Having a laugh in work and admiring a certain footballer who made a visit 
• Random trip to Caerphilly Castle  (Lush!)
• My Little box surprising me for a couple of months
• Lovely country pub lunch, a nice walk and a relaxing bath all in one day in May
• Cookie dough mmmm 
• Watching Wales in the Euros with beer and nice food
• Starbucks in the sun 
• Bought my first ever Mac lipstick
• Watching the musical The Sound of Music
• A beautiful bonfire
• Discovering I like poached eggs
• Bridget Jones in the cinema- so funny!
• Great live music from a local band
• Great live music from Bastille
• Reading inspiring books 

October Catch Up

And so we have reached the end of October...

Work has been tiring and hard. I'm still adjusting to change and still struggling with where I am. I don't know if I am deliberately being negative or if I am right and reacting to a position that does not bring out the best in me.That said...

Life has been good. I cannot complain about life itself. I have had good times with family and friends; moments of pure joy. I have enjoyed laughing in the cinema, coffee with like-minded people, reading a new book, shopping with my mam, experiencing fantastic live music, drinking sparkling wine and eating lovely food.

Yet, I still get those waves of sadness and melancholy and my eyes automatically fill with tears when I notice the hardness of life...the weight of living. I feel guilty saying that when so many are truly suffering but I just feel that sometimes I am a little weaker than most- too fragile.

Anyway!
Happy post to follow

5 things to look forward to

Okay so usually when I am looking forward it is to worry about something. I very rarely focus on the present and my mind constantly wanders to the fearful future ahh BUT not in this post it won't!

Instead here is 5 positive things to look forward to (Yay!)

1.  Bake off is back! and we have weeks of biscuits, cakes, innuendos and showstoppers left to enjoy
I can't wait to get to know the contestants, to see wonderful creations and not so wonderful creations and to cosy up watching this treat every week.

2. Autumn/Winter Menus in coffee shops
I love Costa especially in the colder months when you can have a praline latte or a white hot chocolate or one of their special seasonal cakes. I can't wait to see what's in store!

3. OneRepublic's new album Oh My My 
I have always been a big, big fan of Ryan Tedder and OneRepublic; to me they are music at its best. I'm excited to discover new favourite songs and to listen to great music.

4. Bastille on tour and coming to Cardiff
Unfortunately not many artists seem to include Cardiff in their UK tours :( which means I haven't had many opportunities to hear great music live and to enjoy the 'concert experience' but.... Bastille are and I have booked tickets to see them!

5. Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them 
Who isn't excited for this film to come to cinema? and if November 17 is too far away Bridget Jones's Baby is out September 16 apparently. They couldn't be more different films but I would love to see both in cinema.


What are you looking forward to? Let me know :)

Summertime Sadness

Here again...

Moaning?
Being Negative?
Ungrateful?
Sad and struggling?


I don't want to write those things. I'm fed up of myself and my bleak thoughts manifesting in writing.
I want to be light and positive and thrilled to be here. I'm aware of how wonderful life is and how lucky I am to have a chance to live it, especially being so blessed. I am thankful for that... really I am!

So i just want you to know although I feel weak in this life I also see the beauty it offers. I see it, I do. One day I will make myself better.

My thoughts on: Quiet by Susan Cain

I have recently finished reading the book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking and throughout I have found myself reflecting on the words along the way. So, here I am, an introvert as I now will proudly call myself, reflecting on and giving thanks to this book.

Along the way I have found myself nodding along, taking notes and replying aloud usually something like "That's me!". This book has not not only helped me understand myself better but it has also empowered me to feel good about myself. I would describe myself as quiet, sensitive and sometimes shy and before reading this book I would have most certainly have felt that these attributes were 'weaknesses'. The society I live in praises and commends extroverts while pushing introverts to become more extroverted. I've always felt like a minority and often find it hard to find someone like me, someone I realise who is more introverted and sensitive than others. Believing that there is something wrong with me, or that I am not as good as my extrovert society believes me to be, is where a lot of my anxiety comes from. My anxiety is strong when I think I am weak. This book, however, has made me think of myself differently and to see what I thought were 'weaknesses' as amazing qualities to feel proud of.

I am quiet. I am highly sensitive. I do love music, nature and art. I do feel strong emotions and I do avoid the news and violent movies because I am highly empathetic. This is me...but is there something wrong with being this way? No.


Also, I am sad about the decision a majority in my country voted for this week. I do not like to discuss politics and I'm not going to but what I would like to say is... I, personally, will continue to love and support the EU. 

Happy bursts

Living with anxiety is just that: life with anxiety in it. It becomes a part of you and sometimes we forget about the other parts of life that is not anxiety. I'm probably not making sense to most who read this but anyway, the point I'm trying to make is anxiety can consume you sometimes and other times you can have the chance to observe other things like... happiness.

Here are my observations of happiness:

• The sun - it is lovely to see you again :)
• The sky- day and night you are beautiful
• Beautiful green nature 
• Family 
• Spontaneous trips with family 
• Feeling comfortable with others 
• Yummy dessert and drinks 
• Appreciating art, architecture, history and culture
• Celebrating
• New music
• Old music
• Europe and the Eurovision (Yes, I am a fan)
• Reading and learning and being inspired
• Sleep
• Not thinking ahead so much but living in the moment 
• Reflecting on good times
• Surprise box in the mail with lovely treats 
• Taking pictures

In what form has happiness visited you lately?

The blues

2016 hasn't been the best. I know, it's still April but I'm feeling meh about the year already. Work has been extra hard, my Gran died and I'm just feeling scared of the future.  I'm writing this in my Easter holidays and although I should be happy to have 2 weeks off I feel like I've had no break at all. No break from worry and sadness :( I don't know if whether, I'm a terrible, ungrateful person or this is depression talking. Either way I need to make more of an effort. I need to make an effort to see the good, to go with the flow and to try to push the worry away.

Here is a reminder to myself:
I am not as bad as I think or say I am. I need to be more positive about myself and my life. Remember:

http://theloveyourselfchallenge.tumblr.com

Quote of the Week!

January for me has been: struggling to readjust, eating very unhealthy and just getting through. Already there has been 6 days of February and it already feels like more of the same. I'm not very motivated and I'm still dealing with low moods and anxiety but I feel like there are lots of us feeling the same.

Have patience. Don't give yourself a hard time for having bad days, weeks or months. Allow yourself to feel and believe in better days.

Katie Daisy

This is a lovely print I came across on Pinterest. I do love discovering beautiful, inspiring art. Have you come across any inspiring pieces? Care to share?

2015

Remember my anxieties for 2015...( hello January )
Well it turned out pretty good!

I feel so thankful that I made it through things that I was completely scared about and felt incapable to do. I'm thankful that other people see something in me, that sometimes, I don't see myself and I'm thankful that the universe takes me places that I wouldn't normally volunteer to go. Of course anxiety has accompanied me through every step of 2015 but I still did things that quite frankly I'm proud of.

So here's my little recap of 2015:

January

-I started working full time (1/2 student, 1/2 real work)
-A friend's engagement party 
-Coffee with friends 
-Lunches in town with mam

February 

-Had a nice meal at Prezzo with friends on Valentine's day
-Made some Nutella and strawberry filled pancakes 
-Coffee with colleagues
-Eastenders LIVE





March

-Celebrated a friend's birthday with an indian 
-Got offered a job :)
-A cold and windy walk on the beach 
-Bought myself a new laptop

April

-Easter dinner and games 
-Sunny day in Cardiff
-We had baby chicks in work 
-Ben Howard in concert

 May

-Gerard's last game for Liverpool
-Eurovision, nibbles and Desperado (Sweden won!)
-Went to see Pitch Perfect 2 in cinema

June  

-Bought James Bay's Chaos and the Calm
-Started watching the series Humans
- A walk around Craig-y-nos


July

-Celebrated my birthday with a day trip to Gloucester
-Red arrows
-Fruit coolers in Costa


August

-Beach walk
-Went to see Jurassic World in the cinema
-Day out with friends in Tenby

September 

-Family wedding 
- Unemployment and feelings of guilt
-Went to see Dreamboats and Miniskirts
-Lunar eclipse


October

- Went to see Blood Brothers 
- Back in work  
-Went to a friend's Hen do

November

-  A friend's wedding
- Afternoon tea with friends
- Food in Mamma Mia's

December 

-Christmas do
-Scary interview but I got the job!
-Bought myself an iphone6 
- Night out with friends
- A lovely Christmas with family  

Have yourself a merry little Christmas...

It's been a while!

Since last time, I was offered a temporary job-accepted it- felt incredibly anxious and realised maybe this job wasn't for me- plucked up the courage to phone back two days later and turn down the job- was told that they wanted me for the job and wasn't going to take no for an answer- accepted the job again- started the job- realised I was actually okay at this job- applied for a permanent job in the same workplace- had a scary interview- and got the job!! PHEW.

I should be happy, yes? I should take it as a sign that I am doing a good job and that I am wanted, yes?

I'm still anxious. I'm still scared. I still feel that I'm going to do something terribly wrong and that I'm not going to be good enough. This sucks.

BUT on the more positive side...Christmas holidays are coming soon and I can spend time with loved ones.  I can listen to my new Nashville Christmas CD I bought today- woop!


Here are some lovely pictures taken from pinterest to cheer us all up:

Pinterest

www.stephsayshello.co.uk

Pinterest

Pinterest

 

 

Tumblr

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pinterest

How special and cosy is that last picture? Such a dream!

Lovely Autumn

There seems to be so much love for Autumn at the moment and it is lovely to see.

I've really been enjoying reading blogs from people everywhere embracing candles, coffee and cwtchy days in AND.... I have been loving the beautiful photos of leaves and trees and cosy colours! 

Awww Autumn

 Here is my own lovely autumn photo collection....

A white hot chocolate from #Coffee1- highly recommend!

Love the rich and rustic colours!

Seeing beautiful leaves as you're out shopping and knowing that you need to take them home

A little autumn sketch

Dear friend...

Dear friend, 

I know you are struggling. You think that if you didn’t have to leave your bed, you’d be okay. 

Let me tell you: You are okay. You’re more than okay. You have a gift no one else has. A GREAT light is within you. 

You think too much about a lot of things but you never think about that greatness inside you. You don’t believe me, but I’m telling you it’s true. 

Stay in bed today if that’s what you need, but, tomorrow... welcome the world, accept its good points and bad, smile at the craziness of it all and start turning that light within you ON! 

I’m here for you when things are a little scary and so is your bed, but remember...

 there you are only resting 

because when you've finished resting, there's a world waiting for something only you can give them. 

Lots of love, 

A friend you should listen to. 

Little boosts: why we all need them now and again...

Living with anxiety can be really hard; like a record stuck replaying the same noise over and over and over again. You want to lift the needle and to stop it from scratching but you just can't. I have had some thoughts replaying in my mind for days now and these thoughts were playing in my head over 2 years ago too. You'd think I would have learnt to shut them off or to deal with them but no.

When you've got these negative, draining and irritable thoughts playing on the record of your mind it is nice to have some nice words said to give you a little boost. To have a reminder of the power of good, sincere and uplifting words is a reaaallllyyy nice break from anxious words said to yourself. 

So, here I introduce to you:

Emotional Baggage Check
 

emotionalbaggagecheck.com

 On this website you can Check in emotional baggage and spill some of your worries and thoughts to a stranger. Another person can then choose to Carry it (it being your emotional baggage) and can send you some lovely words back in response. What I particularly love about this website is the element of sending music; when a person responds and chooses to 'carry it' they are expected to send a song along with their message. I don't think I have spoken much about my personal love for music and how much it helps me with my anxiety. I reeaaalllyyy think music is a powerful thing.

Anyway this is what the website states is their purpose:

'The purpose of Emotional Baggage check is to spread a little kindness through music and a heartfelt message. We believe that lyrics and words can lend a little comfort and be an opportunity for expression'

Isn't that lovely? I personally have checked in some of my baggage and I have also carried someone else's baggage and I think of it as a little boost when you need it or when someone else needs it.

Another website I love that certainly gives me a little boost is:
 

 The Pep Talk Generator 

Go there now!!!

This is a project by Babe Vibes and was designed by Kara Haupt and developed by Paige Lewis. If ever you need a pep talk this is the place to go. I love the idea of speaking to someone to encourage, motivate and inspire. I am definitely in need of these lovely, kind, and punchy words to make me believe in myself and what I have to offer the world. It is powerful how words sent from awesome babes can change your thinking even if it is just for a minute (but I really hope it has an everlasting effect).

Please do comment if you know of any other little boosts we all need now and again!! Thank you x

Quote of the Week!

How are you feeling lately?
I get waves of sadness now, and again. I think it's fear in disguise. I'm scared of what is ahead of me but I'm hoping that I have nothing to be fearful of. I really want to believe that good things are right around the corner and that I need to just travel along my own path without doubting my every step. We'll see where I end up!

Here is my quote of the week by the very great, Dr Seuss:

You're off to great places.

Today is your day.

Your mountain is waiting, 

so get on your way. 

-Dr Seuss 

What mountain is waiting for you?

 

Let's write!

I want to try something new. I want to write. This may be completely embarrassing and rubbish but I'm going to do it anyway. Inspired by Vivatramp and her creative prompts these are some writings; poems; words typed.

Half light 

Together we are all glowing;
although, all that is seen is half light.
For buried beneath our appearance
is darkness that can't ever ignite.

The light is always favoured
as darkness just hurts inside,
but, it is the dark that should be admired
as it struggles to break free and to glide.

Maps

From Highcliffe to Romsey
to where I call home.
It is there I'll discover
the journey I have been on.


Thanks for reading!
These prompts were part of the August post, however, there is now September prompts! Read them here: 20 Creative Prompts

Love list

Hello!

During my time off, I have had some (lovely) time to internet browse and to get inspired by super-cool bloggers. I would love to be a super-cool blogger but instead I bring you a positive post with a list of loves. So today, I have a list of some things I want to do, some things I want to buy and some things that I just love.

1.#LovetoRead

Elle Luna, The Crossroads of Should and Must

Source: topista

I came across this on pinterest and now I feel like I NEED to read it. Has anyone read it? I would love to know your thoughts.

2. #LovetoHave

A nice long bath with this Brightside Bubble Bar

Source: Lush 

3. #LovetoDrink

Green tea, lime and mint fruit cooler from Costa

Seriously yummy; try it!

4. #LoveonTwitter 

I really love this picture that @FreePeople tweeted:

Source: @FreePeople

5. #LovetoListen

Biscuits- Kacey Musgraves 

This is just one of those songs where you can't help but LOVE every lyric; catchy, country and creative! 

Source: Tumblr

 What are you loving lately? Any recommendations?  

Quote of the Week: A Sweet Summer

Some people see Summer as a chance to get away; to jet off to some lovely unjourneyed location to have a little taste of bliss for a week or more. I'm not going to lie the idea of escaping to holiday in France or Italy does sound lovely to me but I can't let it ruin my summer of being home. Yesterday I sat in the garden gazing at the clouds floating amongst the sea of perfect blue. It was a perfect day to get snapping and take pretty pictures.

Here are those pictures (edited to look even more picturesque) along with one of my favourite quotes:

 

"With freedom, books, flowers and the moon, 

who could not be happy?"

Oscar Wilde 

 

 

Quote of the Week: Eat, Pray, Love

Hello again!

I haven't blogged in a while because work has really gotten the best of me; I've been too tired to do anything! However, I am now on summer holidays so I can finally pace myself and do more of the things I want/need to do.

This week's quote of the week comes from the book Eat, Pray, Love. This book is full of quotable quotes and really is full of wise words so picking one quote was not very easy.

 I loved reading this book and I would read a chapter at a time when I needed an escape and some words of comfort. Anyone who reads this blog will be aware that I do struggle with anxiety and sometimes depression- as much as I want to be positve sometimes my energy or aura won't allow me to be. This book was a true recollection of a woman who was not in a good place emotionally, mentally or spiritually and plans a journey to Rome, India and Bali to discover and practice the art of pleasure, the art of devotion and the art of balance. I was transported to these countries alongside her and I felt such an escape from my own worries and insecurities. I would like to think that one day I could do something like that- go on a spiritual and physical journey- but for now I think it's best I take little steps to improve my self.

Anyway onto the quote....

I chose this quote as I feel that it highlights our own uniqueness as people. None of us are the same. We are all different. We experience different experiences and we even experience the experiences differently. I sometimes feel bad when I am so different to everyone else, when I am not at the same 'stage of life' as people my age, but I really shouldn't. I need to learn to 'take whatever works from whenever you can find it, and keep moving toward the light'. 

Have any of you read this book? What are your favourite quotes from the book? 

Quote of the Week: Strength

For a while now I have been quietly wishing for more strength.

Anxiety often makes you feel weak, incapable and small and so I wished to be a little stronger.
I wanted to be resilient. To be able to bounce back from any difficulty. To move on from upset. To be a little stronger than I felt I was.

Sometimes anxiety and depression can both seem to be words that contrast with strength. Some people feel that you cannot be both a depressed person and a strong person. I feel like you can. I feel despite my negative patterned mind that I am getting stronger. That I do have strength within me. Anxiety and depression still live within me but they live together with strength.

We are stronger than we know.

Here is a reminder for everyone: