Have you ever had a really bad day and you just had to buy a new outfit to make you feel better?
Well, this post is a result of one of those days.
I am in no way a fashion expert. I tend to buy clothes that feel comfortable and I never tend to think how best to wear things, if you know what I mean. I have noticed that the 'Tartan look' is a bit of a trend at the moment and when I saw these leggings (see below) in New Look I thought: hmm leggings=comfy and tartan=new fashion trend...so I picked them up along with this comfy laid back styled black top also from new look.
After buying these I wanted some more inspiration of how I could wear
these leggings in different ways and Pinterest helped me to find this
inspiration. Here is what I found (all sources are underneath the
pictures):
Sunday afternoon listening to John Mayer sing from my record player- lovely.
Whilst listening to 'Great Indoors' these lyrics jumped out to me.
I've been thinking lately: what is my calling in life? and my answer: I really don't know. I wish I could be on the path towards my passion; I think with that passion my struggle with anxiety would be a little more bearable because I would have something to focus on- something I needed to do. I hate that my anxiety holds me back from being a really awesome version of myself. I don't want to be scared all the time- I want to go outside and explore!!
Anyone feel the same? What are your passions/dreams/goals?
For this week's Quote of the Week I am sharing a blog post that I came across by Jessica Swift.
I feel there is nothing more to add as her words and her art say everything that is needed to hear. Such a beautiful post and words that I need to remember.
Sooo I struggle with anxiety, worries and my messy mind. I am an overthinker and an overanalyser. I cannot flick that switch off. Anyone feel the same way?
Well I'm not claiming that one song will solve all your problems but I am saying that sometimes singing along loudly to an upbeat song with lyrics that you make relevant to you can make you feel good! Even if it is for about 4 minutes!
That is why my Song of the Week and Quote of the Week is: Shake it off!
A couple of months ago I bought this memory board and I was excited to fill it with lots of lovely, positive and happy things.
Well I haven't really done that...yet. So I thought I would attach the message: shake it off to remind me that I need to stop thinking lots of bad, worrisome thoughts and I need to just shake them off!
Firstly, I got my paints out and divided an A4 page into 4 and painted each part a different colour. I do not claim to be an artist; I was just painting for me. Once dried, I decided I would use the bold pink card and I wrote with a black fibre tipped pen the words shake it off.
Here it is:
What should I write on the other colours? Any words that motivate you or make you feel better?
Zoe Sugg, also known as Zoella, is a popular British blogger and vlogger but she is much more than just that; she is an inspiration to many.
I first came across Zoe's blog when I typed in "anxiety" and "young people" into google, probably two years ago, and I discovered: Zoella
This post was about anxiety and panic attacks and, although it was a rather long post, I read every word as I felt it was much more relatable than other factual sites about anxiety. I have not suffered with panic attacks and I hope I never will but I do suffer with anxiety and like others, I often feel alone.
Since reading that blog post I have followed Zoella on her social media journey and I have enjoyed peeking into her life and reading her upbeat and positive words. As a young girl, she helped me as I could relate to her, I thought: 'Wow, look at her, she seems confident and happy but she suffers with anxiety. She understands. She knows how hard things can be sometimes.' but most importantly I thought: 'She's okay. She has good days and bad days. Anxiety does not stop her from living' and this is why Zoella is an inspiration.
She is very fitting for her new role as Digital Ambassador for the mental health charity, Mind and I have no doubt she will inspire many. She is young, relatable and most importantly a friendly face!
I am confident people will get behind her to raise awareness for anxiety and panic attacks in her new campaign #DontPanicButton and her aim to show solidarity to anxiety sufferers, to support each other and to be a supportive community. Thank you Zoe!
Sunflowers are beautiful, beaming flowers that just make you smile once seeing them...right?
Here are some lovely things you may like to know, or may know already, about sunflowers
1)Sunflowers are a combination of individual flowers joined together
"Sunflower heads consist of 1,000 to 2,000 individual flowers joined
together by a receptacle base. The large petals around the edge of a
sunflower head are individual ray flowers which do not develop into
seed"*
2) Sunflowers track the sun's movement
"A well-known sunflower characteristic is that the flowering heads track the sun’s movement, a phenomenon known as heliotropism" *
3) Sunflowers attract birds
If you have sunflowers in your garden the birds will be attracted to them as they love sunflower seeds* 4) Sunflowers inspired one of Van Gogh's most famous paintings
Van Gogh made seven different versions of sunflower paintings. He felt yellow was an emblem of happiness and in dutch literature, the sunflower was a symbol of devotion and loyalty.
Read more about this here
5) Sunflowers are a symbol of peace
Sunflowers are used in a campaign for a world free of nuclear weapons and nuclear power.
When Ukraine became a nuclear-weapon-free nation in 1996, US Defense
Secretary William Perry declared that “sunflowers instead of missiles in
the soil would ensure peace for future generations” (Source: ICAN)
*Facts found here:amazingandweird.com
This week hasn't been the easiest. With more responsibility at work it has unnerved me and made the jittery and anxious me become very scared, low and panicky. So why 5 Happy Things ? Well, simply because that's when we need to pick out the positives and remind ourselves it's not all bad. So here goes...
1. Meeting up with friends
Although, I really didn't feel like going out it was lovely to meet up with friends for some food and a chat. One of my friends and I hadn't seen each other in such a long time that we both had birthday presents to exchange to each other (they should have been given in July). It's nice knowing that someone cares about you and wants to get you something nice to show it. Thank you friends!
2. A little walk looking for the moon I LOVE the moon! The moon makes me feel calm and it makes me feel that we are all special. We are special because we get to see the moon shining at us and lighting up our dark nights. I have many moon quotes and pictures I could share but I'll save them for another time.
3. Early morning coffee
It's not always nice to wake up early in the morning, especially when you're afraid of what the day has in store for you, but once you're up and you're organised it's nice to sit down, empty your thoughts (or try veryhard to) and enjoy some early morning coffee.
4. Trying new things
In this case, it was cheese!! This week, my local town had its annual fair where stalls come from all over the place selling food, clothes, toys, sweets, jewellery and all sorts! One particular stall had some unusual cheeses and the lady invited me over to try them. There was blueberry cheese, madras cheese, caramel cheese, smoked paprika cheese, chive and onion cheese, red port wine cheese and others like red leicester and cheddar. I tried almost all of them and purchased the caramel and smoked paprika ones. Very tasty!
5.Making pizzas
Okay, so I bought the bases ready made but still I didn't buy a pizza. I had fun choosing toppings and sprinkling them on top and the end product was delicious :) I made cheese, tomato and pepperoni pizza and a barbecue, cheese and chicken pizza.
Looking at my 5 happy things it's hard to tell that I had a bad week and most people would consider this a good week but it's my head, my anxiety and my negative thoughts that turn the good into bad. I must try harder to be positive and to change these thoughts for the sake of my mental health!
How has your week been? What are your 5 happy things?
I have had a long summer off and I haven't really been blogging. My intentions for this summer: you can read here. I feel like I did achieve this. Of course, you cannot just turn off your worries and your anxious and depressive thoughts like a switch (because if you could let's face it we all would) but I feel I was a lot happier than my previous summer, that I worried less about my future and that I really did try to enjoy :) Well done me!
and now it's over. I feel like now everything that I didn't think of in my summer off is flooding back. I feel weaker than before. I feel less capable of being happy and I'm anxious about doing little things. Is this normal? Probably. Does it make it any easier? Only a little. I still feel like I can't imagine a future where I'm happy, where I'm confident, where I'm doing a job I love and where I feel I am good at what I do. I'm still sad. I still feel guilty for being sad and I still compare myself to friends and people my age who I think are doing amazing things with their lives, not just coping but blossoming.
Sometimes, I tell myself this isn't anxiety or depression, this is you moaning! You are ungrateful and lazy and you are not like them because you're not trying. I don't know if this is true but one thing I believe strongly in is you should never make someone feel guilty about being sad. It is not a nice emotion but it is a natural human emotion that we sometimes cannot control. Please don't make people feel guilty for feeling sadness.
A year ago, I was in a shop when this book/album appeared to me. It wasn't the quote "People change, memories don't" that compelled me to buy it but the beautiful illustration of the camera.
At the time I wasn't in the best spirits and I thought one day this could cheer me up and I could use it to store happy memories that I've spent with people I love.
Yesterday I started doing just that. I filled a page with pictures and started sorting through my pics to see what else I would like to include in this book.
Anxiety is hard and draining and it takes all of your brain and focuses it on negativity and worry but forcing your brain to remember happy memories you have had can have such a positive effect on you. Sometimes it's hard to think of happy days but try to remember those happier times and believe that there are many more happy memories waiting for you to make.
Hi- it's summer! I have a lot of time off before I go back to work and instead of finding something 'worthwhile' to do, i.e. getting a summer job, volunteering etc., I am going to truly do something worthwhile.
I am going to look after me.
I normally worry all over summer. I worry that I am wasting time; that I should be doing something to help my career or I worry that I will have no career and that I am doing nothing to help myself. Well, this summer, I vow to do neither. I am going to try not to worry about me, my career and my life and whether I will be okay or not, and I am going to try to be positive and happy.
I am going to try to fight this depression that I sometimes find myself immersing in and I am going to do things that make me happy. I hope to drink more water, go for more walks, eat healthier and to enjoy the simple things.
So, here is my quote of the week which serves as a reminder of what I shall try to do each day:
Also, as I was looking for a quote this week, I came across this work of art on Pinterest (don't you just love that site?) and I thought it was a lovely, uplifting piece that I had to share on my blog. The creator Lori Portka has a page on etsy with lots more lovely pieces -Take a look!
This week, I haven't posted my usual Quote of the week or my usual Song of the week posts.
This week, my anxiety was more prominent as I worried about lots of challenges I had to face.
This week, some of those challenges were met with happy, successful results.
This week, some of those challenges didn't turn out so well and are now repeating in my head making me sad and annoyed at myself.
This week, I read the below words from: Weallmadhere
That’s the wonderfully bothersome thing about the brain, it projects
your worst nightmares into reality like an old movie. You can view the
screening any time, any place and completely free of charge.
This is how it feels like a lot of the time with me and my brain. I do not only get to view potential mistakes and nightmares that I could possibly (but not very likely) make but I also view all my past mistakes, failures and embarrassments at any time and any place.
This week, I was grateful to read this. I was grateful to know that I am not alone.
P.s. notice how my happy, successful results of this week are overshadowed by the negatives
= anxiety :(
Hope you are all having a lovely day, American or not!
I thought this song was pretty fitting for today but it is also a song full of hope; recognising those with low self-esteem and those feeling down and saying: you're a firework!!
Sometimes we all feel paper thin but this song lets us know we are all special :)
My days consist of a positive thought and feeling okay turning into a hundred negative thoughts and feeling like I can't cope. I'm sure that really I am doing okay, more than okay in fact; I am doing good! but sadly I never allow myself to recognise that.
Last week, I went for a walk full of my anxious thoughts and I stopped to admire the wonderful wildflowers growing. I love nature. Simple things like wildflowers can be enough to take your mind off worries for a few seconds and to appreciate the good things in life.
So, this week's quote was inspired by these beautiful wildflowers and was found on pinterest. I rewrote the quote and did a little wildflower doodle :) I feel like we need to allow ourselves to grow, to grow free and to be brave and to blossom in our own time. We are all different and we grow at different rates.
Do you have any flower quotes you would like to share? Please do!
Hello! Mondays are always hard. Those Monday blues- ych!
Sometimes you just need a pick me up or a few words to make you realise you are okay. You will be okay. Breathe. Smile. Take it step by step. Go slowly.
So here is my quote of the week to tell you just that:
P.s ThÃch Nhất Hạnh is a Zen Buddhist monk and there are lots of wonderful quotes by him if you would like a read sometime
Hello! The sun generally makes people happier, it gives them that little lift, but sometimes even the sun can't help you from feeling a little flat. I don't have much confidence and I'm forever doubting that I'm where I'm supposed to be. I think I'm not good enough and that I'm failing miserably at this thing called life. I have chosen Nina Nesbitt - Way in the World because it reminds me that a lot of people share my feelings. I may not know them personally and I may feel like I am the only one thinking this way, but they are there feeling similarly.We're just finding our way in the world.
We all get anxious at some points in our lives but some of us are
more anxious than others. While there are different types of anxiety
disorders I have never named my anxiety. What I mean by this is I have
never been to the doctors and spoke about my anxiety for someone to tell
me what it is I suffer from; maybe I should but I haven't. I have
always been a shy worrying child but it is only since I have grown up
that I've considered that I suffer with anxiety. I am an overthinker who
lets my anxious mind stop me from making the most of my life; this is
how I suffer. I worry every day about little things that seem silly to a
lot of people and I sometimes avoid situations because I'm just too
anxious. I really suffered with it not so long ago where a situation of unemployment + anxiety + hopelessness = depression
(I'll speak about this again in another post some time). It was a
really tough time and I'm glad I'm getting better but anxiety still
affects me.
Anxiety, for me, is an uncontrollable and
overwhelming record of worries repeating over and over and over in my
head like a bad song.
What
is anxiety for you? Please share in the comments below or feel free to
email me at em.thoseknots@hotmail.com Em x
It wasn't hard to choose this week's quote of the week. Since I first heard this quote (in my A level Buddhism class) I have carried it with me as it, again like last week's quote of the week , is very me. Kindness. We should all follow this "religion". Do you agree?
What are your favourite quotes? care to share in the comments below?
So last week I choose a rather folksy, easy listening tune for my Song of the week! This week, as the sun is shining and I feel like we should all have a pick me up for the weekend, I have chosen a more cheery, feel good song.
"Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song.
You go ahead, let your hair down!"
I feel the lyrics: "Maybe sometimes, we feel afraid but it's alright" are words we need to remember. With my anxiety, I can feel afraid on a daily basis but that's alright. It's not nice for me to feel and I know I do not need to be afraid but it is okay that I am. It's okay to feel like that. It's okay to feel afraid.
Anyway, I challenge you to turn this song up nice and loud and to have a little dance to it today! LET YOUR HAIR DOWN!
p.s tell me your favourite song (I really would love to know!)
Okay so I have introduced song of the week but now comes quote of the week! woo!
I love music, art and literature; Music, images and words. So, of course I would like to incorporate that into my blog because these are the things I like. :)
So here it is:
Audrey Hepburn
I came across this quote as I was reading A Cup of Jo: Are you an introvert or an extrovert? and I thought it was very me. I love time to myself, walking can really cheer me up when I feel down and I love looking at trees, flowers and the sky (my phone is filled with pictures of the sky!!).
BTW, to answer the question: are you an introvert or an extrovert? I am definitely an Introvert.
I always like to sit on the edges as I feel more comfortable and can have a quick escape if I get too anxious or need a quick time out
I love going out with a small group of friends and the more people invited the more anxious I get
I need alone time to re-energize
I never plan anything and what strikes me as being true, in my case, was "Introverts can have a tendency to let friends and activities pick them". There are lots of things I would like to do but I would never ask my friends to do them with me I simply wait to be asked to do things with them.
Often, with people experiencing anxiety, it is hard to have GOOD Days. Your head can be so full of anxious thoughts and your belly may be so full of knots that the day is just full of worry. You want to be happy, you want to switch off, you want to stop feeling this way- of course you do! but sometimes you just can't.
I want to encourage you, amongst any anxiety you may be feeling, to write down (maybe in my comments) 5 happy things! This could be: things you've done this week; things you like; your favourite band; your favourite book; your favourite food; anything that makes you happy! If you're struggling to think of anything then perhaps you need to make a list of 5 happy things to do.
Here are my 5 happy things:
1) Sunshine
Last weekend the sun made an appearance and it made me want to stay outside all day. I eat outside, I did yoga outside and I even did some written work outside.
2) Yoga and ice cream
I am not a very...hmm what shall I say?...active person. I love walking but other exercise does not appeal to me. However, after reading a lot about yoga recently, I wanted to try it and I thought it was perfect weather to do it outside. So I downloaded an app called Simply Yoga and I was about 5 minutes in when I heard the music of an ice cream van. What did I do? I paused my yoga and ran to get some ice cream hahaha! (I did go back to the yoga later...I promise)
3)Chinese and Nashville
Saturday night was made for takeaways and TV, right? Chinese mmmmm. Nashville=LOVE!
I am a big One Tree Hill fan and although I am happy to watch episodes of them over and over again it's nice to have a new series that I feel just as excited about. Nashville is so me; music and meaning! Here is one of my favourite performances so far:
Lennon and Maisy Stella are wonderful.
4) My Beatles Day Out
I love The Beatles (You may notice the music theme- I love music)and so when I heard that The Beatles musical Let it Be was going on tour I asked my parents if we could all go. Christmas day I was really pleased to open an envelope with tickets for just that. This week the day finally came. I had a lovely day with my parents; lunch out, a spot of shopping, a fab musical full of brilliant songs and performers and some wine and dessert in a pub after. Such a good day!
5)Making my own pasta sauce instead of using a jar
Last night, I fancied making some pasta for dinner but instead of just using a ready made sauce I got a pan fried some onions, added tomatoes, balsamic vinegar and seasoned with pepper. This may not seem like a big deal but I sat down with my pasta, poured a glass of wine, lit a candle and I was happy eating it.
Okay, so this time last week I listed some of my Sunday woes
It turns out:
- I was able to face the challenges ahead of me
- The course wasn't bad at all; I managed fine and even felt good after it :)
- It's okay to feel like that little girl afraid of the world sometimes but just know you can do this
Sometimes it's really helpful to write down those anxieties or worries and make little notes to yourself. IT WILL BE OKAY. The anxiety of doing something is often much worse than the actual doing, and although this doesn't stop the worrying it might just quieten it a little bit. I know it's hard. I still worry about this week I have ahead of me but I need to tell myself: I will be okay and you do too!
I've never really been a big fan of Sundays (unless it's bank holiday weekend!). There's something about them that just make my anxiety and depression worst. That feeling of dread when you have a whole week of anxieties ahead of you is not nice.
So what are these woes that I am feeling?
- I'm worried I am not good enough to face this week's challenges.
- I have a course this week that requires interaction with people and I'm really scared/nervous. I hate pressured situations that expect you to come up with answers on the spot and play games or interact in a 'fun' way. I am shy, and sometimes quiet, and this scares me.
- I feel like a little girl unable to take on the world and sometimes I just want to stay in and hide.
Do these feelings sound familiar to you? What are your Sunday woes?
Here's to us all having a good week and overcoming those rainclouds lingering in our heads!
Can you just jump in and begin? Do you have to introduce yourself?
What do you say? AHHH.
How about...just write!!
Hmm what do I want to say? HELLO
What else? Welcome to my blog: Those Knots
Just write whatever you want!
Okay. So this is my blog. It is here for me to write about my thoughts and to be more creative whilst also, hopefully, helping myself to deal with my anxiety and to talk to other bloggers and connect with the blogging world. There are lots of blogs that inspire me to be more appreciative, to have more fun and to be more creative and I hope that I can create something lovely and little right here. I don't expect much from this blog and really I am just doing it for me but I do hope some people read it and like it and want to leave a comment. I am peeping into this big, blog world and I want to join in :)
